Mefloquine dreams

Well, I've thought and dreamed and wondered when and if I would ever go back to Mbongo and to Cameroon. We're leaving in 35 minutes to the airport. I left Cameroon mid-January, 1998, so it's been about 8 and a half years since I left and we'll be back in a week. Since leaving, Cameroon slowly faded back in memory until it really was more a distant memory than immediate and in your face like it was for the first couple of years back - "When I was in Cameroon this" or "I did this in Mbongo" blah blah blah. But when I learned that TOCC gave me leave to go back, it was like a rush in my head one night when all these super vivid memories, thoughts, smells (mmmm palm wine and koki), and feelings came back, and there it was again, in the front of my mind. The thing that's been tripping me out lately is that all the little kids in Mbongo who I won't remember will remember so much about me, and instead of being stared up at, I'll be looking into all these teenagers' eyes. My mbombo (namesake) didn't exist when I left, and now I think he'll be five.

I thought I was all cool and calm and collected about going back. Not nervous, know what to expect. Dana on the other hand I know is nervous about the unknowns - transportation, illness etc. - all the same things I remember being really nervous about too. She is super jump up and down excited about going, but apprehensive I think. We're together in this trip, but our images and feelings about going back I know are pretty different. This morning, however, I woke up with pretty severe stomack flip-flops which made me smile. It's good to be going back and it's nice to have that nervous excited feeling in my belly. Holy crap! We're gonna be in Douala in less than a week maneuvering around traffic, overwhelmed by the humidity, people, and a huge 3 million person city. Then to the Extreme North (hopefully, as long as CamAir doesn't go on strike which has been known to happen) where it is quieter, calmer, hotter, drier, and feels like home. Except instead of lots of white Christians, there's lots of black Muslims. But it's the desert and always felt like the Sonoran desert whenever I went up there as a Volunteer.

It's been a totally crazy couple few weeks getting ready to go here and the past two weekends I've spent learning everything you've ever wanted to know about swamp coolers but were afraid to ask, and took a rusted hulk and turned it into a softly purring cool machine. I have to admit that I was proud of myself.

I'm excited to be in Cameroon with Dana, experience it with her and through her fresh, big eyes. My eyes were so big when I first got there. We are extremely lucky and blessed in so many ways to be able to go back. We have to have a last fresh squeezed glass of grapefruit juice with my folks before they take us to the airport.

We go see nah for Cameroon!